I should've been getting ready to leave tomorrow, I should've been packing right now... I should of had two suitcases full of things for my mission... I should've gotten my missionary haircut, and had my ugly Missionary shoes... But I didn't get the haircut, I'm not packing, and I don't own those ugly shoes...
I wonder why we cling to our expectations in life, like the way a balloon clings to static electricity; because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing still, comforted, its a path that won't change, it's a path we had planned on. Still, the expected is just the beginning, the expected is what prepares us... The unexpected is what changes our lives...
On April 6th of this year, I knew I needed to prepare for a mission.
On April 26th I sent my papers in.
On May 18th my mission call came in the mail the day before my Triathlon
On May 24th- I opened my call, and was called to Little Rock, Arkansas.
On June 15th- Something Changed... My Mission wasn't feeling right... But I kept moving forward.
On July 3rd, I had the Opportunity to go through the Draper Temple. I will be forever Grateful for that amazing experience.
On July 12th, I went to the Dallas Temple with my grandmother, and as I entered those sacred walls I knew I wasn't supposed to go on a mission. I knew there was something else in store... Something amazing.
Through this entire process I have grown more in the past 3 months, than I have in almost 23 years.
I had lived In Saint George, Utah for about 5 years... I had a great job, great friends and family, and I had a plan; But then came in the Lords plan. I know I wouldn't of moved up to Northern Salt Lake if it wasn't for my mission, but as I have lived up here, I know this is where I am supposed to be.
There is no question that is has been a hard process, but no matter how hard the process is of letting go of my mission I know that what I am doing is right. Sometimes The Lord calms the storm, sometimes The Lord calms his child, and sometimes he lets his child swim; to help his child grow and become what his child was meant to become.
The Will of God Video
"This is how the real world goes, first you spend your life dreaming about how great things are gonna be one day. Then that one day finally arrives, and its thrilling, and scary, and its everything and nothing like you thought it would be. you thank Father in Heaven for the amazing new things he's doing; the new adventure, and the way he put all the pieces in place, and you pray that you will be able to handle it, like you thought you could.
This is how life goes, one minute its bright and hopeful, and then next, something seemly and unexplainable happens, but the Lord is there. One day you think you have it all figured out, and then you realize that there was something even better, because the Lord is there. One day follows the next; good times and bad times, time where your dreams are on hold, and times where they come true, times where you feel alone, and times where you feel love over whelming, times where you make sacrifices, and times where you are overwhelmed by blessings; because you're obedient and the Lord is there, he takes all these times, and he works at you, he works through you... give it all to him, this is his time and I promise all will be well."
A woman once said that often she would watch her daughter and husband go out on saturday bike rides, and she would stay in the office and work, because she wanted a nice house, and a nice garden with no beetles. But as she got older her husband passed away, and she did have a nice house, an empty house, and she did have a nice garden, but it had beetles.. She often said that she wished she could get back those saturdays. She wished she hadn't taken forgranted the thing that truly mattered the most... Family... Sometimes we get so caught up in our own lives, so caught up in our "dreams" that we forget we are living them, and they have come true, but our noses are so stuck to the ground, that we never look up to see that we have had everything we could ever of dreamed of having right in front of us. Sometimes in the midst of uncertainty we forget to look up, we forget to look up and finally see that what we have been looking for, has been right in front of us all along.
Someday everything will make perfect sense. so for now, I will laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and remember that everything happens for a reason. Here is to the unknown of life; I'm taking it by the reigns and I'm going to enjoy this ride. :)
