Good ol' pair of jeans

I love a good old pair of jeans. that fit just right. I went in to my closet this morning, and just Grabbed a pair of jeans. That I probably havent worn in six months. I honestly just didnt care what I looked like today, but these jeans are just right... there's nothing like a good pair of jeans to make a day better. :)

Letting people see me...

"Sometimes you have to run away so you can
see who will follow you, sometimes you have,
to talk quieter to see who is listening."

Gosh, I feel like lately I have been finally able to let people in. I havent had to keep those walls up, that have been up, with guard dogs and machine guns to keep everyone out for so many years. I come off as this easy going open person, and I am... to a certain extent. I only let people in so far, and then I pretend there is nothing mroe to tell. Im always worried it will back fire... I have never really let anyone see the real me. The one who Isn't so perfect, who has so much to work through. The one who could probably give you advice on a lot of stuff, because I have been through it.

It's not like I dont want to open up and really tell people "My Story". For me it's just very hard to trust people and let them in. I am definitly not a regualar girl, I feel weird showing my feelings. To me crying has always been a sign of weakness, I dont want people to think Im vulnerable.

Seeing now that crying isn't weakness... It's a sign of Strength, To be able to convey emotion and to let others see YOU. That is strength and trust in its self. I am slowly but surely starting to open up more, and I love it!
Listening to my friend Summer talk about how our friend Nick told her "thank you for letting me see the real you, and for opening up. You are Beautiful on the inside and out" Made me realize how much I want to let someone in... To really see me... Here's to my dear friend Summer Lawsen who I have probably balled to quite a few times since I have lived with her. Which is not normal for me... Me crying in front of you, shows complete trust. :)


Here's to the guy who can open me up, and is willing to break that wall down and get passed those guard dogs... Will have my trust, and probably my heart. :)... Good luck... :)

Everything I Have Accomplished!

I am so proud of myself as i look back on my life and realize everything I have accomplished! I am so glad that I have taken risks and gone outside my box and enjoyed life, instead of watching it pass by.



I Have...
-Recorded my Songs
-Attempted wake boarding
-Lived through a Tornado
-Broke my hand- falling UP the Stairs... :) ha
-Done a 10K in a Wheelchair- (broke foot 2 days before race) I even beat people who were running, ya ya!
-Been in a beauty pageant
-Hiked NAF peak!
-Been in a Basketball Championship!
-Hiked inside a Volcano
-Hiked 27 miles in 3 days
-Been inside the Nauvoo temple
-Told a guy, exactly how I felt; and didn't regret it!
-Modeled
-Designed and sewed clothes
-Slept on a Golf Course
-Snorkled with sharks
-Gone over tour boat waves on a Jet ski
-Learned a song on the guitar
-Seen true love
-Gone on a ferris wheel and survived- I'm scared of heights :)
-Gone surfing
-Been in four places at once
-Gone down a fire pole
-Had an all girls band when I was 14. :)
-Dont make fun; but got 9 kills on XBOX live... thats big for me
-Jumped off a 30 foot cliff at lake powell
-Been out of the country
-Witnessed a Miracle
-Champion Paintballer ;)- me against 5 boys... i had like 30 welts
-volunteered at an Iron man
-Lived in Alaska for a Summer
-Swam in the Ocean with seals
-Seen the northern lights
-Floated down the virgin river like 30 times :)


- I am sure there is more.. but for now.. those ones stand out the most to me. :)


I can't wait for the future, where I can have even more adventures!! But here is to right now, because I am going to try and live every moment, and just enjoy life.

a best friend for life

Oh my dear kenz!!!! oh how I love ya!!



I am so thankful for all of my very dear friends in my life, and I know I wouldnt be where I am now, with out them. But there is one friend in poticular, and she is the best of my friends!! :) We first met in 9th grade when we both made the team for the Huskies girls basketball team. We clicked right away. We shared gardettos and gaterade on a daily basis! :) Over the years we have had our UP's and our DOWNS. ha. but no matter what we have always come back to each other. She is the only person in my life that knows every aspect, every secret, every crush, every great and sad moment that happens in it. We have it planned- we will be at each others wedding, we will raise our kids together, we will be those two old grandmas who scare little kids on a daily basis... with our shot guns!!! She is definitly one of the people in my life I am so grateful for!!!!

staying strong and moving forward

In a world afraid to believe in anything, its the people around me that I look to for advice. I know in my heart with out a doubt that this church is the true church and that with out my heavenly father by my side I would not even be here. So much has happened in my life.. but none of it, I regret. I know that no matter how many bad things have happened. Their has been many more good things happen to me than bad.

When I am praying... someone is listening. I know with all my heart that my heavenly father loves me, and he knows how much I want to make a difference in this world. He is real. He hears my prayers. He cares about me. He loves me. But most of all, he is their for me...

Yes bad things happen, but when all is said and done. there is only one person always their for you when all have left... the lord. I hear people say well he hasn't been their for me, and that just makes me so sad, because heavenly father is their for you, he is just waiting for you to let him in... truly let him in with all your heart. not just half hearted... whole hearted...

No matter the out come. whether you don't like the answer to the question you have been praying about... know this... Heavenly Father knows you, and knows what will make you happy, he has a plan for you. Even though it may be hard, don't question it. Have faith that it will work out.

Always strive to better yourself, even if it is little tiny steps... "Try a little harder, To be a little better"...

She's country....

I always hear people say; when I get married I'm gonna have a big house with an indoor basketball court, waterfall in the back, theater room... etc.. Yes that seriously would be a blast. No question about it. Call me crazy. But, I don't want a big fancy house when I get married I want a house with a white picket fence and a porch that wraps around.. That you can sit on in the early mornings or evenings and just enjoy the country. I want waves of all different kinds of flowers leading up to my porch, and in the back I want a stone path that leads to a gazebo. I don't want to live in some big house that is for show, I don't care how much money my family and I make, to me its about the memories... even if we are millionaires. I want my cottage with a white picket fence on the country side. :) I may seem like a city girl... but at heart I am a country girl.

My day at Cabela's

So pretty much, I love Cabela's. I had a FanCrapinTastic day there today. I love there fries... They are absolutely deliscious and secretly nutritious... not. But still way yummy. My wonderful momma came with me, she also really wanted to be apart of my blog.. so that was for you momma. :) I really want to going shooting now. I gotta! I secretly want to get a fishermens suit and where that around campus and see what looks I get. ;)... really though. Here is to my amazing day at the happiest place on earth; Cabela's... not disneyland; even though disneyland rocks.

The Simple Things....

Things I Dislike...





People who arent't genuine
Stinky socks
Bad drivers
Cucumber bananas
Pessimist's
When the frozen yogurt machine is broken at maverick
Self absorbed people
Getting hit with a paintball and having little round bruises all over.. its funny.. but it hurts. :)
stail subway sandwich bread.
Wedgies
Crums on the keyboard
Messy kitchens




Things I Like...





Gentlemen
Walks on the beach with a hot dog
Watching cartoons
late night talks
Driving with the windows rolled down and music up..
snuggling
The Goonies
running in the rain
Hugs
Going to the temple
When a guy holds you tight.. :)
My body pillow
BOATING
Shopping
Watching sports
Awkward situtations
When a random guy honks at you and has a cute cheesy smile and waves!
Music
Xbox
Prayer

got my hot dog

Oh my gosh so i have been craving a hot dog for like 3 days. I have no idea why, and after my wonderful run tonight.. i celebrated by getting myself a hot dog. I think hot dogs are the best invetention. Here is to the most satistfying hot dog i have had so far; it was perfect.. it had mustard and ketchup and was wrapped up with love. :) ha ha. deliscious!!!!

enjoying the journey

i have been in college for about a year now, and have come to find myself and really understand myself more. i have always thought i know myself and i have thought i can do it... i can do it by myself. but i know that with out the lord and with out the people you love the most helping you. you will get no where. There is so much in this world that can grab you and pull you down, always stay true to who you are and never let anyone tell you different. You are beautiful strong and can achieve anything.

i have come to realize that no matter how well you think your doing.. you can always do better.

i love this church with every fiber of my soul and know that i want to get married in the temple one day. I know if i just stay strong to who i am and believe in myself that i will go to the temple. i cant wait for the day when i can be sealed with my sweetheart and start our journey.

i am enjoying finding myself and living my life. I hope that i am a good example to those around me and influence them for the better.... Here is to the temple... i will go there someday...